How to Recognize Abuse

What Constitutes Sexual Abuse?

Generally speaking, child sexual abuse involves sexual contact between a child and an older person, or forced sexual contact by a peer. If a child is involved, the following activities are a few examples considered to be sexual abuse:

Touching of a child's private parts
A child touching someone else's genitals
Sexual intercourse
Obscene phone calls
Watching sexual activity

It is important to note the legal definitions of sex crimes involving children vary by state. If you have a specific question about the legal definitions please consult authorities in your state.

The Facts

About one out of every four girls and one out of every seven boys will have a sexual abuse experience by the age of 18.
Most children are sexually abused by someone they know.
Young children, even preschoolers, are sexually abused.
Most adults who sexually abuse children are men, but some women also sexually abuse children.

What You Can Do?

If you think a child you know is being abused, you can help in the following ways:

Listen to the child: Let the child talk to you about his or her worries and concerns. Don't ask a lot of questions.
Believe the child: Children rarely lie about sexual abuse. Their statements about abuse should be taken seriously.
Support the child: Children may feel sexual abuse is their fault. Let them know they didn't do anything wrong.
Stay cool: A child may not talk about abuse if he or she knows that it makes you feel angry, worried or scared.
Take action: Children who are being abused must rely on adults to keep them safe. Do not try to forget the problem or hope it will go away.
Report your concerns to your local child welfare agency: A report is simply a request for an investigation. You do not have to know for sure that the abuse happened. No one but the child welfare agency will know that you made the report.

Signs and Symptoms of Sexual Abuse

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to detect sexual abuse. Oftentimes children show no outward signs of abuse. In addition, the signs of sexual abuse can vary by the child's age and gender.

The following is a list of some signs and symptoms of sexual abuse. Not all children who have been sexually abused will have these signs, and children who have some of these signs may not be sexually abused. If a child has some of these signs it is important to ask questions and get help from a pediatrician, school nurse or guidance counselor.

Physical Indicators

Complaints of pain, itching or irritation in genital or rectal area
Torn, stained or bloody underclothing
Evidence of trauma (e.g., bruises or bleeding) of the anus, external genitalia, or vaginal area
Child has difficulty walking or sitting
Presence of a sexually transmitted disease

Behavioral Indicators

Child displays bizarre, sophisticated or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior.
Child acts seductively toward classmates, teachers or other adults.
Child masturbates excessively.
Child has sleep disturbances (e.g., bedwetting, nightmares.)
Child is fearful of particular places or persons.
Child demonstrates abrupt change in behavior or personality.
Child appears withdrawn or depressed.
Child begins to overeat or under-eat.
Child regresses to immature behaviors such as wetting pants or sucking thumb.
Child demonstrates over-aggressiveness or acts out.
Child cries without provocation.
Child has feelings of low self-worth.

Family Dynamics Related to Abuse

There is a history of sexual maltreatment and abusive behavior in the family of origin of the suspected perpetrator.
The suspected perpetrator acts dominant, protective and/or jealous of the child.
The suspected perpetrator misuses drugs or alcohol.
The suspected perpetrator lacks social contacts outside the family.
The suspected perpetrator turns to the child to get emotional and physical needs met.
The generational boundaries between parents and child are unclear.